Gandalf

For Etgar Keret

I was in High School, sitting in the atrium, hanging out with Lorem, Ipsum, Dolor, Sit and Amet. As usual.

“Dude, I saw this guy as I was driving in off a free.” This from Ipsum. “He was walking by like the side of the road, and he was wearing this like green Gandalf robe. He was holding a fucking wizard’s staff and everything.”

“Really?” This from Lorem. “Sick.”

“That’s so cool.” This from Dolor.

Said Amet: “Wonder where he came from?”

The next day:

“Dude, so I saw that guy again.” This from Ipsum.

“Gandalf?” This from Amet.

“Yeah. I was driving in, and he waved to me with his like wizard’s staff.”

Said Dolor: “That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, I ran into him as I was walking in the Port.” This from Lorem.

“Woah, really?”

“Yeah. We talked for a little. He’s a pretty chill guy.”

Said Dolor: “That’s pretty cool.”

“Wait.” This from Amet. “What were you doing walking around the Port?”

Lorem, grinning: “Heyyy, y’know, I was looking for Gandalf.”

The next day:

“I found Gandalf again.” This from Lorem. “We talked for a minute on the street.”

Said Amet: “Who is this guy?”

“He’s just some guy. But he’s pretty, like, really cool.”

“Yeah, man, I tracked him down in the Port.” This from Sit. “He was with this other guy.”

“Oh yeah?” This from Lorem.

“Yeah. It was pretty awesome. We went into an alley and smoked a bowl.”

Said Ipsum: “No way!”

Said Dolor: “Dude, that’s pretty cool.”

Said Ipsum: “No way!”

“Yeah, man. It was pretty AWWWWWWWW-summmm!”

“Dude.” This from Lorem. “That’s pretty sick.”

The next day:

“I couldn’t find Gandalf last night.” This from Sit.

Said Dolor: “Too bad, dude.”

Said Ipsum: “Did you check the Port?”

“Yeah, man. I checked all up and down that Port. I wanted to smoke me up some f-f-f-fruuuity loops!”

Said Ipsum: “Yeah, man. Yeah, I get that.”

“I found him.” This from Amet.

Said Ipsum: “Dude, really?”

Said Lorem: “Cool, Amet. Cool.”

“Yeah, he seemed pretty chill. We went back to his place.”

Said Sit: “Woah, wait wait wait. Gandalf has a place?”

“Wait… did you FUCK GANDALF?” This from Ipsum. Way too loudly.

“I mean, yeah.”

We all kind of look at her.

“Dude.” This from Dolor. “That’s so cool.”

The next day:

“Dude, what’s up with Dolor? He sick?” This from Lorem.

Said Sit. “Don’t know, man.”

Said Amet: “Haven’t seen him.”

“Cause we got lacrosse today.”

Said Ipsum: “Yeah. Right, man! Where is that kid?”

“I saw him.” This from me.

“What? Where?”

“I saw him out in the Port. He was walking around, not doing much. Wearing a big robe. Holding a stick.”

“What? Really?” This from Lorem.

“Yeah.”

He thought this one over for a while.

“Dude.”

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~ by davekov on 19 June 2010.

One Response to “Gandalf”

  1. Fuck how this is basically a true story.

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