Public Key (Liii)

Oh, God, but did that make me feel wonderful.

To have a friend’s support. To have his blessing. To have his pride. To have a message out there that anyone in the world could see, and have it be just for me.

I felt like my resolve should have been bolstered. Then I looked at my life and realized it needed none. I was safe, I was healthy, I was happy. Pretty soon I’d even have clean sheets.

I read the message again. I had to think that Luc was running an awful risk in hosting such a message. Hidden away though it was, encrypted-in-plain-sight though it might have been. Then again, I guessed it wasn’t really illegal. He probably could have staged a rally in my honor and not broken any laws. Still I was glad, for him, that he did not.

I’m sure he was tempted. This was Luc, after all. I wished there was some way that I could communicate to him that it wasn’t necessary. That Shekondar might be on hiatus, but the gigs they were playing were keeping them busy. This wasn’t busking or playing bar mitzvahs. This was Bron-yr-aur: a hermitage, and all my own.

I could have tried to contact him, in one of a thousand different ways. I didn’t dare risk it. I didn’t dare.

I resolved that I would begin the process of learning about computer security, to hasten the day when I could contact him. One day. Somehow. When it was needed – or just when I really wanted to.

I shook my head, and tried not to think about the future. For the moment I was good. I’d be good tomorrow too. One day at a time, that’s how I would live my life. One new day at a time.

I found and downloaded a simple program that, while it was running, used a set percentage of your available bandwidth to randomly browse the internet. I set it to a hundred percent, and took a little walk. Then I got back and set it to fifty percent while dicking around a little on WikiPedia. Even with that kind of background interference, I didn’t dare bring up the article on Lesotho.

I wondered which was safer: using the internet a lot, but going to no sites that betrayed my location or identity… or not using it at all?

Not having an answer to that question, I disconnected my internet, and went to wait on my laundry.

 

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~ by davekov on 24 February 2011.

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