Pet Names

Over the last two decades – the bulk of my life, and the entirety of my digital life – I’ve had really two usernames: “warspite” and “davekov.” The former is the username I work with in private. In public I use it for activities which necessitate an alter ego: gaming is the primary example. The latter I use as a catchall handle on the nets: viz

Over the same time frame I’ve had several computers. They are, as far as I can remember, and in chronological order:

-A dummy terminal, rescued from an airport trash bin. Useful only for creating ASCII art in cathode-ray green.

-Apple II. Used for simple text editing, playing Number Munchers and text adventure games

-Mac LC II. Used for dicking around with KidPix and ClarisWorks; also playing Myst (in grayscale)

-Mac Performa 637CD. Used for playing F/A-18 Hornet, Warcraft II, and failing to dial up to AOL. Lasted me through middle school.

-Some horrific Dell box. Used for EverQuest, Napster, homework, and eMail. Lasted me through high school; died first semester of college.

-Another, slightly less horrific Dell box. Hand-me-down. Used for KaZaA and the internets. Retired after second year of college.

-A very powerful 17″ HP laptop. Used for word-processing, photo editing, Firefox, and Half-Life 2. Performed terribly, required several lengthy trips back to the factory for repairs. The fourth of these occurred one day after the 1-year warranty expired. Scrapped for parts.

-A bargain-basement Dell 15″, on which I am currently writing this blaggadocio. Linux box from the day I got it. Uses the hard drive, wireless card, and ram chips from the previous laptop. Just suffered its first major difficulty, about a month after the two-year warranty expired. Is still perfectly functional. Just has a fair amount of its internals exposed to the elements. (Think Schwarzenegger towards the end of T2)

At least three of these computers has had a name. The first Dell box was named ROSE – short for “Random Oscillating System Extension,” from a short story I was writing at the time. The second was, I believe, named WARSPITE – the concept of usernames being separate from terminal names was at that time obscured by the frosted panes of Windows. The third machine, the first on which I installed Linux, was SANSPEUR. The current machine is DREADNOUGHT.

I have also had a few SD cards, for my camera. The first was a 2GB named DAGUERRE; the second and current, a 16GB job named ANSEL. If I ever need to upgrade, I’m thinking BOURKEWHITE.

The switch to laptops necessitated that I store most of my files externally. The switch to crappy laptops, which I go through like FDR went through vice presidents, necessitates that I back up my files with regularity. As such I’ve also been the proud owner of several external hard drives.

The majority of the data I store on these drives – primary and backup – falls under the 4Ms – Movies, Music, Manuscripts, and Microcode – yay torrents. These tend to take up large amounts of space, necessitating large external drives. In that spirit I have made it a point to name them after texts and constructs relating to free speech. It seems only fair.

-The first was a 500GB MyBook. I named it Areopagitica.

-The second was a 500GB portable. I named it Eikonoklastes. It died.

-The third was a 1TB portable. I named it Illegal Flower Tribute. It died within 24 hours on Eikonoklastes… which died within 24 hours of Areopagitica. On what will henceforth be known as “The Day of the MOTHER FUCKER.”

-The fourth and fifth are a pair of laptop internal which I have hooked up to an IDE/USB converter I ripped out of Eikonoklastes and a USB/Mini-USB cable I took from a dead cell phone. They are not enclosed in any way. One is 200GB, the other 250. They are CATHEDRAL and BAZAAR. This arrangement is, shall we say, a stopgap on the road to more permanent data storage.

Today I am pleased to announce that I am expecting the delivery of a 3TB drive from NewEgg. Yes, that’s 3,000 gigabytes. It cost four cents a gigabyte. Along with my new internet connection speed of 2mbps, I plan to amass quite a collection of 4M. In the shadow of SOPA, beside the pyre of Gigapedia… I figure, it cannot hurt to build a content collection while I can.

Now… I just have to name it.

I’ve compiled a few names. They’re all possibilities. I’m sure there are many more, and clever too. This is what I have so far:

TRIDENTINE (after a formal name of the Index Librorum Prohibitorum)

NIHILOBSTAT (“nothing forbids” – the license granted to a printed document in Europe ancien)

IMPRIMATUR (“let it be printed” – ibid)

MARTEAU (from Pierre Marteau, “Peter the Hammer,” a 17th and 18th century printer’s mark used pseudonymously for illicit material)

CAXTON (William Caxton; first movable-type printer in England)

GIORDANO (Giordano Bruno; philosoph who, along with his works, got torched by the Inquisition)

LCF (The demonic counterpart to Aristide Torchia, the Bruno stand-in from Perez-Reverte’s El Club Dumas)

DOLET (French printer and early reformationist; burned along with his works)

PALIMPSEST (a vellum that has been scraped and reused; loses points for its unfortunate association with a Cat Valente story)

SCRIPTORIUM (the “place of writing” in a medieval charterhouse; used particularly in homage to Il Nomine de Rosa)

…needless to say, any suggestions are warmly welcomed :-)


~ by davekov on 21 March 2012.

One Response to “Pet Names”

  1. /media/tridentine

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